Memos
by highland-daughter
Summary: It was all Loki's fault really. The reason the memo had been distributed among the SHIELD staff. Clint couldn't be held responsible and yet he was the one nearly dying of embarrassment. Loki/Clint


_**Disclaimer:** All rights belong to Marvel. I own nothing and no profit is being made._

_**Rating:**__ K+  
__**Warning:**__ Contains minor language.  
__**Author:**__ I was inspired by the __**Memos from Fury**__ over on _Tumblr_. I had a lot of laughs writing this and I hope you find it as amusing as I did. Enjoy and don't forget to review._

_**oOoOoOo**_

Clint blinked in disbelief, shock and a little bit of embarrassment.

It was a memo from Director Fury to the entire staff and personnel of SHIELD.

That alone had not caused his mixed emotions. He was used to memos being pinned to his locker or bedroom door at any given moment. What caused his tangle of emotions was the fact that the memo specifically mentioned him.

By name.

Again.

It was the fifth such memo in under a week. The others hadn't been overly bad. A few not so subtle reminders that he was not actually permitted to do things like use Steve's shield as a target or blare heavy rock music over the PA system at seven in the morning. Those ones had been pretty laughable because he mainly did things like that just to get a rise out of people. Especially Fury and Coulson. But this? This took things to a completely new level and it wasn't one that he'd thought Fury would ever stoop to.

The memo Clint currently had clutched in his hand, the one that had him turning a faint shade of reddish-pink, simply read:

"_**To Whom It May Concern:** While the Avengers Tower has a number of safety protocols, SHIELD cannot vouch for the safety of anyone who attempts to flirt with Agent Clinton Barton, a.k.a. Hawkeye, while in Loki's presence."_

Clint looked around, noticing that Tony and Natasha were both holding a memo, and he quickly made his exit from the lounge area of the Avengers Tower. He really didn't want to hear the jokes and taunts they would come up with over this. Especially when he hadn't done anything wrong for a change. He hadn't turned that visiting SWORD agent into a featherless chicken and then posted videos all over the agency network. Nope. Those particular honours went to a certain dark haired, green eyed Trickster.

Clint ducked into the elevator hit the eighth floor button. Loki and Steve had left earlier for the gym and he silently prayed that Loki was still there. He also prayed he got to them before anyone else. Before either of them received the memo. He really didn't need Loki having any more brilliant ideas. The Trickster got enough of them from the memos as it was. Hell, Fury had even issued one informing Loki that the memos were not daily challenges and were not to be treated as such.

That had not ended well.

Slumping against the elevator wall, Clint crumpled the memo in his hand and shoved it into his pocket. He couldn't believe this was happening. If this didn't make everyone stop talking to him out of fear of Loki taking it the wrong way, then Loki was going to take the memo as yet another challenge and do stuff to anyone who so much as looked at him. He rubbed a hand over his face. Some days he had to stop and wonder if Loki might have a few wires crossed in that sexy, genius, yet manipulative, head of his.

Clint had no idea what to do in this situation.

When the elevator dinged, he glanced at the door, knowing he hadn't reached the right floor yet and he swore his heart had leapt up into his throat when Thor and Jane got on the elevator. In Jane's hand was that damnable memo. Clint suddenly wished he could disappear into the wall or through the floor. Especially when Jane looked right at him. "Oh…hi Clint," she said with a slight grin, she held up the memo. "Have you seen this yet?"

Clint gave a faint nod, glancing over at Thor who was smiling that dopey smile he always wore. Apparently Jane hadn't told him yet what the memo said. Before Clint could say anything about the contents of the memo, Thor asked Jane what important message Fury had left on his door this time. Once again Clint wished he could disappear into the wall or the floor.

Jane chewed her lip for a moment and looked at Clint in a way that said she was a bit uncertain if she should answer but Clint gave a nod and prepared himself for the worst. As Jane read the memo aloud, Thor's eyes slowly widened and when the Asgardian whipped around to look at Clint his expression was stormy and his eyes were narrowed. Clint shrank back a bit, which wasn't much considering he was already in the corner of the elevator.

"You have been dishonouring my brother by talking seductively with other people?"

"No!"

Jane and Clint spoke in unison and Thor looked from one to the other as if watching a tennis match. The Asgardian scowled as he looked at Clint again. "Then what is the meaning of this message from the Director," the massive blonde warrior demanded as he took a slight step forward, stopping only because Jane caught his arm.

"Thor," Jane spoke calmly, both hands securely wrapped around one of Thor's arms. "Do you remember Agent Martin, from SWORD?"

Thor blinked and looked down at her. "The tall warrior like man with red hair, a suit like Tony's, and had what Darcy called a _spray on_?"

Both Jane and Clint nodded, though he had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at the reminded of Agent Martin's ridiculous tan. Why in God's name the man actually thought it made him look attractive was beyond Clint's understanding. He much preferred his men on the paler side.

"Yes, him," Jane said as she glanced at Clint and then returned her gaze to Thor. "Well…do you remember what Loki did to him?"

"Of course." Thor grinned a bit. "My brother turned him into a chicken. One without feathers."

Jane bit her lip to keep from laughing and Clint groaned, covering his face with both hands. "Well," Jane said with a slight giggle. "You see, Loki did that because Agent Martin was flirting with Clint, who did nothing to encourage the man's behaviour. Clint even told Agent Martin that he was involved in a serious relationship and was not interested."

"That does not explain the Director's message."

Clint snorted. "Because Loki was jealous and turned that dipshit of a SWORD agent into a naked chicken Fury decided it was in SHIELD's best interest to warn people that approaching me in any sexual manner would be hazardous to their health."

"Oh." Thor frowned for a moment. "I seriously doubt anyone of SHIELD would approach you like that. They know of Loki's temper."

"Yes, they do," Jane supplied as the elevator came to a slow stop. "But visitors don't. This memo is a way warning them."

Thor nodded just as the doors opened. Clint cleared his throat. "Yeah, well…" he moved towards the doors. "I've got to…have a little chat with Loki. Do damage control and the like…preferably before he finds out about this."

He heard Thor laugh as he tore off. Embarrassment shot through him as he darted down the hallway. He ignored people he passed, most of whom watched him go with grins on their faces. That settled it. He was going to strangle Loki when he got a hold of the pain in his ass Trickster.

When he walked into the gym it was slowly. He saw Steve sitting on the mats, laughing and shaking his head. Loki stood roughly two feet away, grinning a bit, with his arms crossed over his chest. Even from where he stood he could see the paper in Steve's hand. A rather familiar looking paper. The damnable memo. Swallowing thickly, he slowly approached the two.

Loki looked right up at him and that grin became something like the Cheshire Cat. "Hello, Clinton."

Steve turned his head, took one look at Clint and started laughing so hard he ended up lying on his back. Clint glared at his so called leader and debated kicking Steve in the ribs. He just barely resisted that urge as he walked closer. "I guess you got the memo, huh," he asked as calmly as he could. His question caused Steve to laugh even more and Loki's grin to widen.

"Anthony was kind enough to have one of his little minion bots bring it to us," Loki explained as Steve managed to stop laughing and sat back up, grinning like an idiot. "It was…amusing."

Clint shot the Trickster a dark look. He knew what Loki was really saying. The Trickster was thinking of this new memo as yet another challenge. "Loki," he started to growl but Loki moved into his personal space in the blink of an eye, placing a finger against his lips and silencing him.

"Now, Clinton, you needn't worry," Loki all but purred, causing Steve to snicker. Clint shot the man a glare. "I know you would never take anyone up on their sexual offerings. I'll not do anything to harm the people you work with."

Clint blinked in surprise. "Do you mean that?"

"Of course I do, love." Loki looked sincere and serious for all of two seconds before that Cheshire grin was back. "Though that blonde woman from accounting will have to be taught a lesson first. She's had plenty of time to learn that she is supposed to look at your face and not your crotch when she speaks to you."

Before Clint could response, Loki gave him a wink and quickly vanished in a flash of green light. "Goddamn it, Loki!" Clint fumed, unable to believe Loki's nerve. This kind of shit would get both of them kicked out of SHIELD and locked up. "Get your ass back here!"

Steve burst out laughing again and Clint growled. He did kick the man this time. As he stormed from the gym he was deciding what would be a worse punishment. Making Loki sleep on a couch or denying to the Trickster sex for a few months. He had just reached the elevator when the PA system dinged and someone ordered him to Director Fury's office. Before the announcement ended he heard a woman shrieking about how she was going to gut Loki and string him from the ceiling like a piñata. He groaned in disbelief and fear of what awaited him in Fury's office. This wasn't going to be good.

The situation did help him decide what punishment he was going to inflict of his Trickster of a lover. Loki was sleeping on the couch and definitely wouldn't be getting lucky for a long, long time.

_**oOoOoOo**_

_**Author:** Fin!_


End file.
